little anecdote

Welcome once again to the Frisky Power Rankings, where I rank women’s flat track roller derby according to my whims/in-depth knowledge, one day early because no one reads blogs on Saturdays.

I can’t do this without singing “tri-an-gu-lation” to the tune of “Anticipation” in my head. Maybe I was forced to listen to too much soft rock during my childhood.

1. Gotham. Yay, they played a game! And they’re going to play more! They don’t seem to have lost anyone since they won the Hydra last year, and they added Vicious van Gogo. So. I’m not foreseeing them losing to Minnesota or Windy City this weekend.
2. Bay Area Derby. Montreal stayed close until a 35-point jam in the third jam of the second half. Yet, they got 32 major penalties to 18 for Les Skids Nouveaux. I don’t know if that means they’re just that good, or if penalties are a real vulnerability.
3. Flat Track Stats for giving us these stats.  <3 u! We’re mad at Rinxter this month for having a new version that crashes.
4. Texas. Staying up near the top thanks to a solid thrashing of Rocky Mountain. Don’t mess with THAT.
5. Philly. Typical game against Gotham – stayed fairly close, then Gotham poured it on in the end. Thanks for being the guinea pigs on that one, teal buddies. They play Bay Area soon! That’s fun! Look how many exclamation points I use when actual games happen!
6. GIFS of cute baby animals, and pronouncing it with a hard “G.”
7. Windy City. Sneaky Windy City, playing more games the first weekend in June. Don’t suck and make me look bad. I have confidence in you.
8. Denver. Thank you for not being boring! You played Minnesota! But Rocky beat them by a lot more points than you did, so you temporarily stay in this slightly lower position until we figure out what your deal is.
9. Angel City. They scored 532 against Slaughter County. Slaughter County ain’t what they used to be, but allow me an appropriate emoticon. Q_Q (Did I do that right? I’m 33.)
10. Rose City. Still, and always, the most attractive.
11. VRDL. They’re so hot right now! Okay, they’re probably not a top ten/eleven team, but I’m pretty sure everyone was rooting for them at some point on their eight-games-in-eight-days USA trip.
12. London. They haven’t gotten here yet, so I’ll just let them stick around at twelve for safe keeping. Looking forward to watching you, ladies! This is going to be fun!
13. Charm. Solid. That result against Angel City looks better all the time.
14. Montreal. Super close result against Philly, but they do tend to be awesome in spurts and then not as awesome in spurts. They like to keep us guessing. Flirts.
15. Rat City. Tri-an-gu-lation. Tri-an-gu-laaaation – it’s making me wait. No; it’s breaking my brain. Rose loses to Angel City by 46, and Rat beats them by 13. Okay. Rose City beats VRDL by 181, while Rat wins by 35. Ooooohkay. Just wait for London to get here and mess everything up.
16. Knowing how divisions and rankings work now.  The only way to know is to look up the ranking and ask a nerd what it means. Who’s playing in what playoffs? When is this decided? What games count? Who the hell knows – just play some derby and have fun. That’s what we’re here for.
17. Rocky Mountain. Beat Minny by a lot of points. Here’s some power. We’ll see how they match up against Denver this weekend! (!!!)
18. Minnesota. Not a bad showing against Denver, but they haven’t won a game since Championships. Ohio could sneak up here with a win.
19. Naptown. All the teams they’ve played so far have been decent former North Central teams that aren’t Windy City. Hm. Good, but how good?
20. Some team I never think of as that good that’s going to surprise people.  Arch Rival? Ohio? Atlanta? I’ve got my Frisky eye on you.

Not included: Carly Simon, and my high school French skills.

What do you think?