Welcome once again to the Frisky Power Rankings, where I rank women’s flat track roller derby according to my whims/in-depth knowledge.
There have been so many retirements and movements and re-adjustments that I haven’t even been able to keep up with the scuttlebutt.
Rose City stays on top this month (yeaaaaaah!) due to a slew of retirement announcements out of Gotham. I’m sure there are lots and lots of very very very talented people to step up, but losing a core of skaters always leaves a question mark…of power. Especially when you’re talking about skaters of the caliber and experience of Suzy Hotrod (!), Fisti Cuffs, Mick Swagger. They can’t exactly be replaced.
1. Rose City Rollers. Lost their captains (Mercy and Penny Dreadful) but otherwise intact and hungry.
2. Gotham. As we said, they’ll have a lot of changes this year. They might even – gasp – lose a game this year. I’m calling it.
3. Bay Area Derby. Just thinking about them makes me a little scared. They’re gonna be so deadly and awesome this year.
4. London. Kami’s retirement is a big loss, I don’t think it’s big enough to slow their rise.
5. Texas. This blog post broke my Rose City fan heart. I know, we can’t be greedy after getting two Team USA caliber transfers last year, but…can you imagine? Portland is a very fit city! We have lots of coffee shops and tacos! I’m at a coffee shop right now, and I saw a member of Sleater-Kinney here once! (Any lame people reading this: Portland is the worst and has no jobs. Just stay put.)
6. Denver. May have lost a couple more skaters, but they seem to adjust to that kind of thing very well.
7. Victoria. Damn they’re good! And only getting better with stiffer competition in the Southern Hemisphere.
8. Champagne. Oooh, bubbles. See also: fizzy water.
9. Philly. Extra points for changing their league name to Philly Roller Derby and dropping the “girls.” And starting a junior program.
10. Angel City. A calendar! I can see you’re going to play games! Into it!
11. Windy City. Big losses in Varla Vendetta and a transfer of Jackie Daniels to Texas.
12. The Big O. OMG I think I need to make this happen this year. Montreal! Victoria! Rose! BAD! Philly! Texas! Agggh!
13. Minnesota. They’ll be especially charged to head to champs this year, after being named the hosts, but hosting duties can take their toll as well. We’ll hope that as a larger league, they’ll be able to shoulder the burden.
14. Rocky Mountain. They’re playing Team United (TURD) this month! If it’s not on the internet, I will cry.
15. Sun State. I’ve never seen this Australian team play, but they’re really high in the WFTDA rankings, so POWER.
16. Jacksonville. *RECENT ACTION ALERT* Beat Ft. Myers by a lot of points.
17. Atlanta. Will be playing Jacksonville soon, yaaaay.
18. Charm. No news out of Baltimore. Ho hum.
19. Rat. Featured league of the month by WFTDA. Probably no All-Star action for a whiiiiile.
20. Montreal. Always going through changes, it seems, but always fabulous, and this year getting Mick Swagger as a coach.
Not listed: Websites with no 2015 schedules. Throw us a bone, here, leagues.
What do you think? What’s the scuttlebutt? Where are the bones I’ve been asking for?