Welcome once again to the Frisky Power Rankings, where I rank women’s flat track roller derby according to my whims/in-depth knowledge.
HEY EVERYONE! ROLLER DERBY! Ranked WFTDA teams have played against each other since last month. All-star lineups have been decided and posted on the internet. It’s an exciting time to be a WFTDA fan. Who’s going to surprise us this year? Who’s going to exceed expectations? How are additions and subtractions going to work with each team’s personnel? Who’s going to capitalize their strategy for the new rules?
There are no April Fools’ jokes in here. This is serious business.
- Gotham. They lost Brazilian Nut to Philly, but I guess their jammer rotation is still pretty good.
- Texas. Hauss the Bauss is just going to get better. Think about that.
- Bay Area Derby. I don’t know what it means that they beat Treasure Valley by 623. These things happen?
- Everyone else. Who wants to live above this line? It seems very pleasant up there.
- Denver. Beat up on Kansas City harder than Rocky Mountain did. This is the only data point we have so far this year, so let’s blow it out of proportion!
- Windy City. Closer game against Arch Rival than might have been expected, but it looks like they were giving their newer jammers some run early on.
- Cute baby animals.
- Angel City. Tinseltown Showdown is in a couple of weeks. This is exciting. We’ll just leave them here and wait patiently.
- London. Anarchy in the UK is in a couple of weeks. This is exciting…etc.
- Pie. Specifically, berry pie. With ice cream, maybe.
- Rose City. I am bumping Rose up one because Hurls told me to last month, and she is wise. Also, they played a pretty solid game against LADD. That’s fun.
- Atlanta. No bouts until May. 🙁
- The new ruleset. It hit, not with a bang or a thud, but a casual nod. Okay, 30-second penalties, gotcha. Moving on!
- Philly. Added a few transfer players. Lost Shenita Stretcher from all-star play, breaking my little heart.
- Minnesota. Hm. We’ll see next weekend when they play No Coast. Hm.
- Rat City. Their roster sure has changed a lot. They also lost another player to…
- Oly. Don’t look at their roster and get confused between who plays WFTDA and who plays USARS. Like I did.
- Montreal. Looking très fort so far.
- Tampa. Tampa gets power for playing four games in March, and winning each.
- Ohio. I don’t know, man! I thought they were having a huge retirement this last year in a small league, but they beat Nashville and Toronto. Toronto doesn’t look too shabby, either.
What do you think?